Reflections on a Past Experience

I will tell you a story that involved me sticking up for someone being teased only about three years ago or so. I was at my friend's daughter's Head Start facility, waiting for her to get out of her class. There was this little boy, maybe about three years of age, who was still in diapers. I heard the teachers talking out in the open about it. They said his mom sent him in diapers because some medication he was on was giving him diarrhea. The little boy was crying because he needed his diaper changed, and one of the teachers harshly said to him in a loud voice, "You need to wait and be quiet. You should not even be wearing diapers anyway. You're too old."

 My heart ached for the boy because I knew how he felt, and the poop was likely irritating his bottom, especially if it was diarrhea. I had enough of this bullying and ignorant behavior, and I was determined to show these moronic teachers that age does not determine when someone does or does not wear diapers. I was unable to stand by any longer and watch this go on and walk away and do nothing. I am not one who can stand by and silently watch injustice. I have to get involved. The Bible says so, anyway.

 I jumped up from where I was sitting, swung my diaper bag over my shoulder and opened it up. I pulled out one of my diapers in full view, saying, "You know? I got an F in toilet training! I am 26 and still have to wear diapers. I have a medical problem. I can't control my bladder at all, and I sometimes poop myself. So, stop bullying that little boy and change his diaper, so he can be comfortable. I know how it feels to sit in diarrhea when I do it on myself and can't get to a place to change fast enough. If I knew who his parents were, I’d tell them how you are treating their child. You should be ashamed of yourself!" I said it loud enough so all the parents, staff and anyone else could hear, and I swung my diaper around in the air, so all could see it. Everyone was silent. I had the attention of all in the waiting area.

 Seconds after my outburst, the boy was taken into the bathroom and changed. Other teachers and parents came up to me and asked me about how incontinence impacted my life. I politely answered their questions. I also got a number of comments from other parents and teachers about how brave I was and how I’d be one who stands up and makes changes for the better someday. I also got a few hugs from some.

I felt so proud of myself. Not only was it a teachable moment, it was a moment when I could stand up for someone who was helpless and could not stand up for himself. Children are the most helpless people of them all, and I cannot stand by and watch one get mistreated without doing something.

Does the "All Children Must Be Potty Trained Before Attending School" Law Effect a Medically Incontinent Child?

“All children must be potty trained before attending school,” is the law. These are not the exact words, but nonetheless, it is the law. Then you may ask yourself, “What if my child has a medical problem? What if he is incontinent?” Don’t worry about it because in those cases, that law des not apply. Here is the procedure that you must follow to protect yourself and your child in the school system.

First, go to the doctor. If the incontinence is unknown, such as your child suddenly having problems, it is best to get to the bottom of it. But until you do, your child might need diapers for a time, depending on the severity of the issue at hand. If this is the case, have the doctor write you a note stating that there is a medical condition present and that absorbent protection is needed until the problem is found and solved. If you already know what the problem is, such as an overactive bladder, intestinal issues, or an undeveloped urinary tract, then have the doctor write a note stating that there is a permanent medical condition and that the need for diapers is permanent and absolute. It will be vital to emphasize that there is no cure so they will not harass you or your child. The note must also say that he is to go to the nurse for diaper changes. This way, he will not face trouble from any of the staff at the school since some like to give children and parents a tough way to go. Make sure the doctor does not miss a single detail in the note. All details need to be included for your protection.

Once you’ve obtained a medical note, you’ll need to give a copy to the nurse, the principle, and any staff that works with your child. Then, sit down and have a talk with the principle and the nurse. Don’t talk with just one. They both need to be present. You’ll need to discuss incontinence management and how things will be handled. Talk to the nurse about your child coming to her office for diaper changes. This way, it is being handled by a trained professional, and the state cannot be fined.

Don’t let them tell you it is not possible because it is. When a student is incontinent, no matter the age, he must go to the nurse for every diaper change. He is not to change his own diapers. It is policy since they are obligated to follow certain sanitation codes for state institutions. If they out right refuse, then the civil rights of your child have been violated, and you have a case under the American with Disabilities Act. An incontinent child has the right to attend a normal school and normal classes just as his peers. Don’t let them tell you any different.

So, parents, there is no need to worry. Now that you’ve been informed, take the necessary steps to ensure you and your child are protected.