An Unfair Request

As many of you know, I am blind. Because I am blind, this makes me slightly more dependent on people than I like. For example, I need to depend on people to get rides places because blind people cannot drive. The rides thing is going to be the subject of this post. This post is going to be a bit of a rant, so brace yourself.

I was talking to a good friend of mine about how to handle diaper changes on road trips or on long car rides that take an hour or more. She told me that I should just be patient and wait until the driver wants to pull over because asking to pull over every time I want my diaper changed will get annoying, and the chances of me getting invited to go on trips again will likely be nonexistent. My friend said that family and relatives would get annoyed as well and will not really be too big about stopping all the time because they want to get where they want to go. She also told me that if the driver is the type who wants to drive straight through and not pull over, it is okay to ask to pull over once or twice but not to overdo it.

So basically, I am being asked to patiently sit in a wet or messy diaper all for the sake of being polite.

I told her this was so unfair. She said that she understood where I was coming from, but she also proceeded to tell me that babies sit in their diapers all the time until someone can change them, and that is a fact of life for people who have to wear diapers. Then she ended it by saying that it would not kill me to sit in a dirty diaper for up to an hour.

I am not a baby, though. And I think it is wrong to make anyone sit in their diapers just for the sake of convenience or politeness. It is so easy for people who do not wear diapers to say that is what babies and incontinent people should do. I so bet that if they had to wear a diaper, they would not be singing the same tune. They'd beg to have it changed.

I understand not changing a wet diaper right away. They are designed to hold a lot. But as for a soiled one, it should not wait if it does not have to wait. I think it is wrong to expect someone to sit in a dirty diaper when they have the power to pull over the car but are just being lazy. It is so selfish to expect this of babies and incontinent people. How would they like to sit in it?

You would think I would be able to sit in it without any trouble. After all, I have worn diapers for many years. You think I would be used to that by now. But I am not. And sure, I can sit in it if I really have to, but why would I *want* to?

What do you guys think? I am interested to hear your take on this matter. You can state your opinion either way. If you are on the side of my friend, please state why you support this view. Also, explain your reason for supporting my view if you support my view. I look forward to your comments.

The Crisis on the Train

The date was Saturday July the second. The weather was hot and sticky, though, that did not matter to us. My friends and I were traveling to the National Federation for the Blind convention that was taking place in Orlando, Florida this year. We were excited.

All five of us hopped aboard the train. The group included my friend Tyron, my other friend Tiffany, and Lavonnya and her six-year-old daughter. All was going well, until I discovered that there was a major problem.

I needed to change my diaper. I looked into my bag for the diapers that I had packed to take with me on the train, and they were gone! Immediately, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I felt myself begin to sweat and get anxious. After all, this was a nineteen hour train ride, and one diaper would not hold me the entire way through. With complete and total urinary incontinence and partial bowel incontinence, it would not even work!

Tiffany noticed that something was wrong. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Hardly," I said back.

"What is wrong?"

"Um, you know how i need diapers because I am incontinent?"

"Yes," Tiffany said.

"Well, the ones i packed for this trip are no longer there. I think that they fell out of my bag when the conductor made me change seats before we took off. What in the world am I going to do? We are only three hours into this trip! The diaper that I am currently wearing is not going to last!" By this time, I could hear my voice starting to rise, as I began to slightly panic.

"Try to calm down," Tiffany said.

"Calm down?" I asked. "How on earth do you figure I do that? Do you know what is going to happen to me? At any time, the diaper I am wearing could spring a leak if I go too much. Then, what in the world do I do? Things will be worse then. I wonder if they could stop the train so I could buy more diapers." The diapers in my carry on were the diapers that I was to use for the entire week. I'd now have to buy more when I arrived in Florida.

"They cannot stop the train," Tyron and Tiffany both said.

"It is an emergency! I need diapers! Pee will get everywhere and it could get worse than that! Don't you realize I have complete and total urinary incontinence and suffer from bouts of bowel incontinence? Oh, this is going to mean big trouble!"

I took a couple of deep breaths and called my friend Pat on the phone. Pat is a really rational person, and she always has a good head on her shoulders. I was all out of ideas for the moment.

We talked for a bit. She told me that I was going to have to not drink the rest of the time on the train. She also told me to make several bathroom trips an hour. Now that would be hard, considering I have no real knowledge of when I'm going to go. But I figured that I'd have to do whatever it took to avoid embarrassment. Unfortunately, though, I lost signal.

I got off my seat to make the first bathroom break. On the way, I was praying to God. While walking, one of the women came up to me that I was talking to earlier and asked me what was wrong. I figured I'd tell her. What could it harm? After all, she could have a solution.

"Well, I do not know how to really explain this, but I'm incontinent. I can't control my bladder at all. Sometimes, my bowels do not work well, either. It is kind of like what a baby does. I have to wear diapers. I lost all of mine when I moved seats before the train took off. They may have been picked up by now and thrown away. I checked before I got on the train, and they were in my bag. Now, they are not, and I do not know what I am going to do."

"Well, I have some pads for you." She grabbed a few thick period pads out of her purse, wrapped them in a plastic bag, and then handed them to me. I did not want to hurt her feelings and tell her they really would not help too well. I went ahead and took the pads from her, and I suddenly got an idea that would save me. I was going to take the pads and stuff them into the diaper I was already wearing, so it would make the diaper last a bit longer. That would have to work. It would be uncomfortable, but there was nothing else I could do.

I went to the bathroom to do this. I did not use all of the pads because i wanted some others for later. But when I was walking back, something unexpected happened. I ran into an old friend who was also traveling to the same exact place. It was my friend Velma.

"You okay?" she asked.

I proceeded to tell her all that was happening. And she had an idea that I did not think of at all.

"You can fit extra-large baby diapers, right? I mean, you look small enough. I could have sworn you told me that before."

"Yes, I can. I can wear the Loves size six and Pampers size sevens."

"I'm going to go around and look for a mom or dad with a big toddler and ask for a couple of diapers for you to have. I'll explain what is wrong."

"You'd do that?" I asked her.

"Sure. I want you to be comfortable."

"Velma! Thank you so much!"

I went back to my seat and waited. I got some signal, so I called Pat again. I proceeded to tell her what transpired and apologized for losing her call. I explained that the signal was sporadic. She was cool with it. She was also happy that there was a solution. We got a little further than that, and then the call died again.

Velma came back to my seat, and the mom that was giving me the diapers was with her. This time, I did feel a bit embarrassed and could feel my face growing hot, but I remembered that I was an advocate and that there was no need to be embarrassed. It was up to me to set an example.

She is the one who needs the diapers?" the mother asked.

"Yes," my friend said.

"Ma'am, I am incontinent. I cannot control my bladder and sometimes, my bowels act up. I lost the diapers that I had when the conductor made me move seats before the train took off. I know that by now, they have been trashed."

"Well, here you go then," the woman said, as she handed two diapers to me. "This should help you, until you get to your destination."

"Oh, thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," said the mom, and then she walked away.

I turned to Velma and said, "Velma, thank you so much. You really made my trip. I do not feel so anxious about what could happen."

"Hey, that is what friends are for. Besides, Jehovah knows what we need. He takes care of us. He knew your needs, and I just happened to be there at the right time."

That was so true. I prayed during that whole ordeal, and it all worked out.

I went to the bathroom, changed into one of the diapers, and I then walked to the dining car to get my supper. I ate, had a few bottles of orange juice, and settled down to get comfortable. I was so glad that I was going to be able to sleep that night in peace without having to worry about springing leaks or even waterfalls. I was going to enjoy my train ride after all.

Information for Incontinent Adults who wish to Go Green

Top Three Websites Where You Can Purchase Adult Cloth Diapers
Purchasing adult cloth diapers from these manufacturers is guaranteed to leave you satisfied.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1401343/top_three_websites_where_you_can_purchase.html

Incontinence Resources and Online Support Groups for Incontinence Sufferers

The list is few for good resources. However, I've compiled some that I feel are most helpful to incontinence sufferers. If you are incontinent, or if you have a child who suffers from incontinence, look no further. The searching ends here. The list of incontinence resources and online incontinence support groups are as follows:

www.aboutincontinence.org/

www.simonfoundation.org This organization offers online support, as well as a ton of information about incontinence. This was the first organization I came into contact with at the age of nineteen.

www.depend.com This is another site that is packed with information. They also have message boards where you can talk with other incontinent individuals. You'll need to click the "Friends and Sharing" link.

www.nafc.org Like the others, help and support are offered. This is a very wonderful site.

www.healthcentral.com/incontinence/support-groups.html This one is not blind friendly. A captcha is neded in order to join. We wil hopefully write the site owners about making this change.

www.dailystrength.org/c/Urinary-Incontinence/support-group This is a urinary incontinence support group. You can also look up their other intity http://dailystrength.org/support-groups Daily Strength is one of the top websites for support.

www.care2.com/c2c/group/Incontinence This is another online support group.

www.healthboards.com This is for all medical conditions. You'll have to look for the one specific to incontinence.

www.wrongdiagnosis.com This site has information on a host of medical conditions, as well as message boards. You'll need to find the ones specific to incontinence.

http://www.mdjunction.com/urinary-incontinence This group here is geered to urinary incontinence.

I truly hope this helps you.

Does the "All Children Must Be Potty Trained Before Attending School" Law Effect a Medically Incontinent Child?

“All children must be potty trained before attending school,” is the law. These are not the exact words, but nonetheless, it is the law. Then you may ask yourself, “What if my child has a medical problem? What if he is incontinent?” Don’t worry about it because in those cases, that law des not apply. Here is the procedure that you must follow to protect yourself and your child in the school system.

First, go to the doctor. If the incontinence is unknown, such as your child suddenly having problems, it is best to get to the bottom of it. But until you do, your child might need diapers for a time, depending on the severity of the issue at hand. If this is the case, have the doctor write you a note stating that there is a medical condition present and that absorbent protection is needed until the problem is found and solved. If you already know what the problem is, such as an overactive bladder, intestinal issues, or an undeveloped urinary tract, then have the doctor write a note stating that there is a permanent medical condition and that the need for diapers is permanent and absolute. It will be vital to emphasize that there is no cure so they will not harass you or your child. The note must also say that he is to go to the nurse for diaper changes. This way, he will not face trouble from any of the staff at the school since some like to give children and parents a tough way to go. Make sure the doctor does not miss a single detail in the note. All details need to be included for your protection.

Once you’ve obtained a medical note, you’ll need to give a copy to the nurse, the principle, and any staff that works with your child. Then, sit down and have a talk with the principle and the nurse. Don’t talk with just one. They both need to be present. You’ll need to discuss incontinence management and how things will be handled. Talk to the nurse about your child coming to her office for diaper changes. This way, it is being handled by a trained professional, and the state cannot be fined.

Don’t let them tell you it is not possible because it is. When a student is incontinent, no matter the age, he must go to the nurse for every diaper change. He is not to change his own diapers. It is policy since they are obligated to follow certain sanitation codes for state institutions. If they out right refuse, then the civil rights of your child have been violated, and you have a case under the American with Disabilities Act. An incontinent child has the right to attend a normal school and normal classes just as his peers. Don’t let them tell you any different.

So, parents, there is no need to worry. Now that you’ve been informed, take the necessary steps to ensure you and your child are protected.