Thursday, January 2, 2014


This post was about an incident that occurred Saturday, December 28, 2013.

As I have told many of you here, I have bowel problems. Well, I had an accident Saturday night while at the AT&T store. I was there for a couple of hours trying to fix an issue that should have taken only minutes to resolve. Anyway, there was a smell. I was embarrassed. It was not immensely strong, but it was noticable.

I skipped taking my tablets for a couple of days. I did not even think it would have that big of an impact. But now, I know.

I will have to take these tablets very regularly, not even missing one day. I cannot risk embarrassing myself and offending others.

Something Good Comes Out of a Mortifying Experience At Work

December 20, 2013

So, a mortifying thing happened to me at work a week ago. I never saw it coming. I felt like I wanted to die when it happened, but I know I handled myself well.

Over the summer, I bought this cheap backpack. I bought it for the sole purpose of keeping my diapers and other related supplies in it. The backpack cost about $30. It was thin and cloth-like, and I liked the texture.

Unfortunately, last week, it busted. The bottom of it tore open in the front, right corner, and some of my diapers, a tube of diaper rash cream, some individually wrapped wipes, my Nullo tablets and a can of my spray to hide the odor fell on the floor near my desk.

I froze, and I felt my face growing hot and my eyes brimming up with tears. I swallowed hard. It was not something I was ready for my coworkers to know.

You might think, Why wouldn't you want them to know? You are brave. You talk about it all the time. You share your stories. You're so open, so brave.

Well, believe it or not, there are days I do not feel so brave. And there are times when it is hard to tell some people. There are situations I have found myself in that are totally awkward. I have these feelings and troubles because it is considered shameful to have accidents and not be able to control your bladder and bowels.

But I force myself to handle it. I force myself to tell it shamelessly because someone has to do it. Someone has to break down the walls of stigma so people in the future will not have to feel so awkward, embarrassed and ashamed.

I felt a number of things. I felt like melting into the floor, never to be seen again. I felt like crying. I felt like even dying. I felt like running and never coming back. But I knew I could not do any of those things. It wouldn't be practical.

I had to be brave. I had to face this situation like it was no big deal.

I told myself, "You are the advocate. You are tough. You are strong. After all, it is you who has to pave the way for people to accept this condition. You have to get rid of the shame and the stigma. You should not be ashamed. It is not your fault. You did not ask to be like this. So, stand tall and be strong."

After saying those things to myself, I proceeded to get down on the floor and pick up my things. People around me were sympathetic. Nobody was judgmental at all.

What is cool is that my little incident resulted in a coworker wanting to help me with my Stigma Warriors YouTube channel. She told me she had a lot of respect for the fact that I handle myself so bravely and that she wanted to assist me in my efforts.

While that incident was so mortifying and embarrassing, something good came out of it. Now, I will have someone to help me do the videos for my channel. I guess it is true that good does come out of the bad.

But I hope that does not happen to me again anytime soon.

About My Updates

Well, I am going to be doing some updates. I know they are a long time in coming. However, I have been busy and contending with Chronic fatigue. Not to mention, I have been having a lot of joint pain due to the bad weather here. Once I am finished contending with all of that and doing my fulltime job, I have no energy for much else.

The post updates are going to follow many different dates on which the events have taken place. I will put the dates in the tops of each post.

Catch Up Time

Okay, I know it has been awhile, but here is to catching up on this blog. It is time for new content. As a matter of fact, it is long overdue.

Throughout the day, I am going to post some posts that have been written about experiences that have taken place in the last couple of months or so. I hope you enjoy them.