Saturday, February 28, 2009

My Experience with Bowel Incontinence

So, the very unfortunate has happened. I would have discussed it sooner; however, I’ve been too embarrassed. You se, my incontinence has taken a very different twist, and I’m dealing with new things that I’m not used to facing.

It all started back in November. For the first few weeks, I would have a bowel movement in my sleep. It didn’t happen every night. It happened sporadically, enough for me to believe that it was just isolated incidence. I just reasoned that it would go away and that it was a good thing that I was wearing a diaper already, so I could protect my bed along with my clothing. Sadly, though, things really got worse.
Within the middle of the first week of December, I started having a bowel movement in my sleep every single night. By the middle of December, I began losing bowel control during the day. I started isolating myself. I figured that all of my technicians could do all of the on site work, and I’d just stay home working with telephone and remote access tech support. I’d go out once in awhile, but the entire time, I’d pray that I’d not have a fecal accident. I was fortunate that it didn’t happen.

Finally, my best friend came back from the military. I talked to him about everything, as there is not a single thing he doesn’t know about me. He was the first and the only one I told at the time. When he asked me if I had seeked out medical attention, I told him that I did not and did not plan on it due to immense embarrassment of facing the doctor and talking about this issue. He drove me to the doctors and gave me an ultimatum. I didn’t even have an appointment. Needless to say, the doctor saw me right then and there.

While there, I ever so embarrassingly talked to my doctor about what I was currently dealing with. I had to give stool samples, as well. I was told that if the stool samples came back with nothing found, further tests would be taken. The stool samples came back with a very high Candida content, meaning that it was suggested that the loss of bowel control was due to my condition, Chronic Systemic Candida. I was told to get my diet under control—I have to forever remain on a strict diet to manage my condition and keep it from worsening—and I was also given strong medication to kill off the yeast that was causing internal damage to my intestines. I followed the instructions, but there has still been no improvement. I’m wondering if it takes time? And if so, how long? I want my normal life back. It is bad enough that I’m urinary incontinent, but the thought of having to live with bowel incontinence is almost crippling. Many say it can be done, but I don’t want to offend others in public should I have an accident. I know I’m an incontinence advocate, and being that I am, I should not allow things like that to get to me, but it is very hard. I hope that we can get to the bottom of everything and solve my problem. Should the bowel incontinence be permanent, I pray that Jehovah God will give me the strength and the know how to live with this. I NEVER THOUGHT I’d understand how people living with bowel incontinence would feel. I do now.

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