Saturday, August 10, 2013

Pooping Myself at Work on August 1, 2013

It happened to me last week on August 1. I was finishing my lunch, when I felt like I had to poop. Whenever I do, I get this bad stomach ache. It has always hurt when I had to go since like the age of seven. People say it is not normal for it to hurt, but it is my normal, and I have gotten used to that.

I gathered up my things, and I began walking fast. I was sitting outside eating my lunch and was at work. Before I got to the door of the office building to go inside, it happened. I pooped myself. Thank God I already wear diapers twenty-four/seven for my overactive bladder.

Now, I felt really self-conscious. I could not smell any odor--the diapers I wear do a really good job at masking it. I was so afraid someone else would. I really got self-conscious when I got on the elevator. I thought I was going on the elevator alone, but two other women got on with me. I was so tempted to just jump off at the last second, but I did not want to draw any unnecessary attention to myself or have to explain anything. I wonder if I had an embarrassed look on my face. I know that my face felt hot, so I am sure I was blushing badly. But since we live in such a polite society where we are taught as adults to mind our own business for the most part, not too many people would have said anything, even if they did notice something was awry. However, they would not hesitate to go and talk about me behind my back to others. I wonder what they would say to their friends and coworkers.

I held my breath until I got to the sixth floor. That was where my office was. I moved to the third floor this Thursday, August 8, because there is where our team was moved. I got off the elevator as fast as I could (Perhaps, the women would just figure I was trying to hurry back to my desk after break like so many others do.). I got my diaper bag, and I ran to the bathroom. 

I set to changing myself. It was difficult because I had to try to keep my dress out of the way. I was so tempted to just take it off and hang up until I cleaned the mess off myself. But, I managed to keep it free of getting messed up. I also had to work hard at cleaning myself because there was a gooey mess everywhere. Lately, the consistency of my bowels has been strange. It's not firm or runny, though, it is close to diarrhea.

After I was done, I hurried back to work. Nobody said anything, and I am so glad.

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